


for a second, right at the end

by dipstick



Series: What Makes A Man? [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Under the Red Hood
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Child Death, Death, Gen, alfred would avenge jason in a heartbeat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-09
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-29 22:22:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10863282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dipstick/pseuds/dipstick
Summary: "I'm saying I can't live in a world knowing that my grandson's killer is still out there. Still hurting people." Alfred didn't look back at him as he spoke. His eyes were fixed solely on the words on the granite in front of him.'Jason Peter Todd'Only just a child. He should have never been a soldier. Never been lost to the wars of reckless men.





	for a second, right at the end

**Author's Note:**

> i keep writing oneshots for this series instead of writing the next chps rip...

Bruce looked at him sternly. The glint of his eyes catching the low light of the dying sun.

"What are you saying here, Alfred?"

"I'm saying I can't live in a world knowing that my grandson's killer is still out there. Still hurting people." Alfred didn't look back at him as he spoke. His eyes were fixed solely on the words on the granite in front of him.

> _Jason Peter Todd_

Only just a child. He should have never been a soldier. Never been lost to the wars of reckless men.

"If it's ever a possibility that I would have a chance to end the man- no the monster, that took master Jason from us. I will." Alfred said. Shaking hand pressing to the groves of the stone. Feeling the indent of those letters. "I know your code is important to you, sir. And I will always be proud of your resolve, and your will." He finally looked back at him. At his son. Bruce was crying, silently, shoulders quaking with it. He quickly looked away as he continued. "But I am a soldier. Much more than you or your sons ever were. And if I get the chance I will shoot that fucker so many times they won't be able to identify the body."

Alfred refused to look at Bruce. He didn't want him to see this side of him. The part of him that was burning in rage, and would never, ever let any other person feel the pain and loss he now felt. Would never let a man like the Joker walk free when his grandson lay cold and dead.

Bruce's hand came to his shoulder and dragged Alfred into a fierce hug. "I wish I was strong enough to do that, dad. I wish I wasn't putting this burden on you."

Alfred held his son to him closely. "Why do you always take the responsibility onto yourself, master Bruce. Can't an old man protect his family for once."

 

* * *

 

When a bullet tore through the Joker's skull and then through his heart and his stomach, again and again until he was nothing but holes, not even days after his first escape two years later. Bruce never asked if it was him, but he had a look in his eyes afterwords. Possibly regret, for what he couldn't do. For what he thought his father had to do for him.

Alfred never told him it wasn't him.

It would have been, he had planned for it to be. And he was ultimately just glad the monster was dead and gone. That Jason could possibly rest more properly in his grave. Knowing he was finally avenged.

And there was something about the rumors of the new masked figure that led Alfred to believe it was the one he should in-debt the death of the clown to. And something about this rumored figure that was so familiar. In a haunting way, that had Alfred staring at his ceiling dead into the night. A jagged grin and soft curls so vivid in his brain he thought he'd cry until there was nothing of him left anymore.

 

* * *

   
Alfred pulled the bullet out slowly, looking emptily at the cold metal as he dropped it into the basin at his side.

There was so much power in such a small object. Something that had removed the man who took Jason from him. But had then almost taken Jason from him again.

"Was he afraid?" Alfred asked his charge, looking in Jason's drug addled eyes as his grandson looked back, confused. "When you killed him was he afraid?"

Jason's breath caught, shaking out of him in a startled way. Before his mouth split into a jagged smile. Something so familiar it made Alfred's breath catch too.

"For a second, right at the end." Jason said. "There was absolute terror in his eyes."

"Good." Alfred said beginning to stitch up the hole in Jason's arm. The last one left after the ones in his side and his leg.

"Good?" Jason asked. Grin gone, and voice quiet. Like he was waiting to be reprimanded. Waiting to be told what he had done was wrong.

"Very good, sir. I only regret not being there to see it. And that he wasn't afraid for much, much longer." Alfred finished the stitches than, placing a bandage over them he looked back at his grandson's eyes.

He was crying, like Bruce had the day at Jason's grave. Silently shaking, holding it all in. They were sometimes so similar, Alfred couldn't understand how they fought so much.

"Master Jason," Alfred said, quietly, grasping his hand, bringing the other to his cheek to carefully wipe away his grandson's tears.

"No one," Jason started, stopping on a shaky breath. "No one has ever said it was good before."

"Of course it was." Alfred said, tears forming in his eyes as well. "If I could of been the one to pull the trigger I would have a thousand times."

Jason looked at him disbelieving.

"He took you from me, Jason." Alfred said. "He deserved much worse than what he got."

Jason moved than, despite the pain it must of caused him, and grasped at his grandfather. Alfred returned the hug immediately. Clutching his charge to his chest.

"Thank you." Jason whispered.

In that moment Alfred truly hated Bruce's code. Truly hated anything that had caused his grandson to feel like no one would protect him. The no one would carry the weight and pain of his death with him.

And as he held his grandson tightly in his arms, tears slipping down his face for he knew there was a time he thought he wouldn't ever be able to again, Alfred vowed Jason would never be led to believe that again.

"Why do you always have to hold this on your own. Can't an old man protect his family for once."

**Author's Note:**

> did you know that i would die for Alfred Pennyworth?
> 
> also big thanks to littlebluewing on tumblr for the inspiration! ilysm Jay <3


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